|Tuesday, May 21st, 2013|
today's audition calls for me to be "Incredibly likeable"
(eyes clouded by hate)
|Thursday, March 21st, 2013|
day 4 of Master Cleanse
Yes, I'm an idiot. A stubborn idiot. An idiot who thinks this will heal and absolve me of all the garbage I put into my body and enable me to do it again and again like some kind of twisted body-Catholic.
|Sunday, February 24th, 2013|
An old friend from Louisiana moved up to NY a while back and said "hey, send me some artwork for my space, I'll sell them for you!"
Sure, I say, why not, I say, I'll trust in friends and the universe and my art to speak for itself. Months later one of those pieces sold and I sent this guy the info of the buyer and means of sending it. OVER A YEAR LATER, he still has both pieces and gives me boo-hoo-everything's-terrible-I-don't-ha
ve-time-and-can't-make-rent runaround (what does all that have to do with me??) and I guess I have to write off both paintings as lost to the maelstrom of crummy human blech.
Some time ago, a much different friend said, "hey let me take this artwork with me to Phoenix, I'll hang them and sell them for you!"
Hold on, I say, here's where I've gotten burned before entrusting my work to friends, I say. OH DON'T WORRY he says. Months later after collecting dust at yet another mutual friends' home, I'm paying some guy off craigslist to return them. This wonderful mutual friend lovingly packs them in boxes for transport, I'm very grateful, she's always been kind and thoughtful.
Here I am at home, having met with this craigslist dude and retrieved the work only to, upon closer examination, find frames splintered, corners fucked, and one my favorite canvases with a rip... torn. TORN!!!! I'm mostly happy having most of this work back in hand, and I think (hope) I can make repairs, but I'm also a little heartbroken. I've sold lots of paintings over the years and I suppose it's a little naive to think they're all still in pristine condition, but I've never seen one of my babies so messed up.
(Unless of course it's one of the ones I destroyed on purpose.)
But, does this craigslist jerkoff who claims himself a fellow artist not have the decency to look me in the eye and apologize for a (very human) mistake of not lashing the boxes properly? I wish I knew who to blame: the initial buddy who let me down and left the work in the middle of the desert? The friend who cared for them and boxed them but didn't idiot-proof the boxing? The churl who didn't lash them properly and ran off before I could discover the damage? Myself for trusting ANYONE?
I'll just suck it up and move on. And continue to trust. Because a life without the ability to trust isn't a life.
Also, I can always create newer bigger more wonderful and powerful pieces of artwork.
|Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013|
the best part of cold weather
is that the heat is on
and your skin is dry
and when you scratch your leg
IT MAY BLEED
|Wednesday, December 19th, 2012|
|Tuesday, November 13th, 2012|
weak week (!) for studio tour
I have no idea what to expect for this second weekend's F1 bonanza.
It could be amazing! It could be terrible, but it'd be awesomer if it were amazing!
What if an F1 car pulled up and the Pope got out?
|Saturday, November 3rd, 2012|
Why hasn't anybody come to my Nobody Have Fun Festival?
|Thursday, October 25th, 2012|
that moment when I'm rubbing Robin Goodfellow's belly and stop for whatever reason and he snaps his head around to stare his demand-stare at me while rolling his body even closer to make his belly all the more accessible because MORE BELLY RUB
that moment Mudcat's brainlessly gnawing on her bone on her side and it becomes halfhearted but it's in her mouth and she starts loudly breathing through it like it's a snorkel
|Tuesday, October 9th, 2012|
I just looked on the back of this canvas I'm working on- for a brief moment back in 2006 I signed it, called it "Weatherman" and thought it was finished. I think for a while it was hanging in the back bathroom, then maybe 2008 I decided I hated it and I painted over it. Then I hated it and painted over it. Then I hated it and painted over it.
I have been working on this painting since 2006. That's kind of silly.
|Friday, September 21st, 2012|
Naples Yellow can eat shit
what a worthless opaque garbage of a color
why did it cost me so much and why did I even bother???
if I ever get to visit Europe
I shall surely avoid Naples at all costs
and that'll show it!!!!
|Friday, September 7th, 2012|
i'm painting with some fans
cheap walgreens fans
their cage housings broke
but i need them and their air! fumes, you know
i cut myself on one!
back o' my arm, tricep area
hard to know
hard to know where the red paint begins and the bloody cut ends!!!!
THIS IS A GOOD FEELING
THIS IS A GOD FEELING
red red red
|Saturday, July 28th, 2012|
I'm at my wits end!!!
everything in my home is dusted eight times over with diatomaceous earth
dogs have been given sentinel flea/heartworm preventative
they've been treated with frontline
the backyard is sprayed with Hartz
I comb for fleas twice a day
and STILL. THEY. COME.
WITS FUCKING END
THEY SCRATCH ALL DAY LONG
WHY AM I SO INEPT AT THIS AND IN EVERYTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE???????????????????????????
|Tuesday, July 24th, 2012|
There's been a plantar's wart in my right heel for something like six years. I've tried every home remedy and over the counter method possible, even worked with a foot doctor about two years ago only to have the bastard grow back.
(This is a polar storm on Titan.)
(for hot nipples go here
During the immensely intensely physical Jubliee
, I lived in constant fear of its discovery, and filing it down became a weekly ritual. Spending time in pools turned it a bright swollen white, acting as a beacon of potential embarrassment. Worse still, it had begun to spread recently to my arch and my lil' pinky toe, which, if you haven't told your pinky toe you love it today, do so now.
After blowing through some khaki commercial acting money on filling cavities, new contacts, new brakes & tires for the Murdervan, I tackled this bastard with a doc who took me at my word to go nuts with the scalpel. They put me under and when I awoke the bastard the BASTARD is gone.
Replaced with a gigantic valley of a cut, which I thought would never heal. I have pictures but you do not need to see these pictures. Here instead is Neptune and Triton, please note Neptune's own wart.
A gaping hole on the bottom of your heel is no way to go through life. They gave me a big worthless space-age walking boot that was heavy as fuck (because fuck is heavy) I quickly ditched for flipflops that allowed some semblance of tiptoe walking on crutches. Appearances at the theater left me reciting a tale of how I got the 'cyst' removed, as 'wart' seemed grosser and perhaps diminished the size and scale of the procedure and pain.
Two weeks later there are finally visible signs of healing of this deep tissue, I'm off crutches (if this front-of-foot walkin/hobblin makes me look goblin)
I feel perhaps as though I've turned a corner in cutting away some bad shit out of my body and soul. I hope this feeling stays and that I may exercise on both legs again soon, to relearn balance and regain a focus that comes out and up from the body's core.
May positive energy spray out like water ice from Enceladus!
To be frozen in hard uncaring unapologetic vacuum, to be sure. But fuck it.
Everything is smelly and bizarreScarred
|Monday, June 25th, 2012|
newbie standups overheard at coldtowne:#1
: Yeah, here's pretty good#2
: Yeah, you move to New York you've gotta start over again#1
: Yeah, New York you've gotta start at Ground Zero
me: (silently) whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
|Tuesday, June 12th, 2012|
I've taken a break from it for a while, focusing on Minotaure then Jubilee (which I suppose I should journal about at some point)
dipping my toes into occasional guest shows
usually with friends and veterans
not overly trusting in my ability to truly play with anyone else
for fear of outing myself as a fraud and selfserving snob unable to find anything or anyone amusing
unleashing judge and executioner
last night I played in the new CT lottery with a good mixture of new and old
some babyfresh students terrified of silence and making poor choices
and what do you know, i'm still able to listen and take care of people on stage!
it's a show/challenge i've been dreading
a hurdle I find myself having cleared
maybe, just maybe, improv can be fun?
maybe playing the same character and accents as I've ever played before isn't so bad?
maybe it feels good making people laugh?
maybe I can let myself do this?
|Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012|
|fuckers they're all fuckers
i just saw a national commercial i auditioned for a while back USE MY JOKE I improvised at the audition
here's our bullshit boring ad copy- have fun!
sorry you didn't get the part
we will still use your joke!
and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it
|Friday, February 17th, 2012|
I have nothing positive to write ever
I hope they do not turn off my power today
|Friday, January 27th, 2012|
So, no job starting in April after all!
That certainly simplifies things, but in the WRONG DIRECTION
poverty and death is pretty simple when you think about it
|Thursday, January 26th, 2012|
hey, I got a job!
It starts in April; surely my landlord can spot me three months' rent while I eat my old shoes, right?
|Saturday, January 21st, 2012|
I want to buy an old school bus at an auction
and fill it with beekeeping stacks (leave windows open of course)
and drive it around wherever flowers are most awesome
and make honey
and use a second old school bus to make mead
a third bus would be filled with medical supplies
a fourth with alcoholics
a fifth with old ladies making quilts